Saturday afternoon, I’m heading to the “World-Class” sanghoki Aztar for my first foray into E-Vegas’ only legal poker room. And I need your help to decide just who I’m going to be when I sit down.
Here are my options:
The Online Poker Jopker
I’ll break out my Full Tilt Poker hat and my PokerStars T-shirt. I’ll take my Check ‘N Raise poker card capper (yeah, that’s real old school). I’ll talk about playing thousands of hours multi-tabling SNG’s and how I can’t find any real action at a live table. I’ll say “lol” a lot and call my opponents donkeys.
The Sharp-Dressed Man
Think Marcel Luske. I’ll probably break out my Playboy Mansion outfit. I’ll be quiet and respectful, congratulating people when they win a pot. I’ll be generous with my tips.
The Pro in His Own Mind
We all know this guy. Sunglasses and an I-Pod. Maybe I’ll even take Lady Luck along and have her sit behind me so I can impress her with my awesome play. Despite having music in my ears, I’ll still analyze every hand out loud after the cards hit the muck.The Luckbox
It’s just me. I’ll break out the official Luckbox and get my money in when I’m behind. I’ll chat it up because that’s what I do.
So those are the best I’ve been able to come up with. Add your vote in the comments or feel free to leave your own suggestion!
Hellmuth pimps The Beast, vice versa
Non-traditional revenue. It’s one of my favorite phrases from the business world. More often than not, it’s code for “We’re about to do something we’d never thought we’d do to make money, please pay no attention to how bad we’re about to sell out.”
The latest news from the poker marketing world is that Poker Brat Phil Hellmuth is allowing (and by allowing, I mean ‘allowing for a presumably healthy fee’) Milwaukee’s Best to plaster his face on their cans of beer. Indeed, this top tournament player who is known to buy Dom Perignon by the case is endorsing the beer choice of broke college kids across America. I think Arrogant Bastard Ale would’ve been a more appropriate choice (and better beer), but nobody asked me.
You know how this story goes, right? This is what happens when the little Dutch kid finally gets bored and decides to do something other than keep his finger stuck in the dike. When one of the greats of the game ends up on a Milwaukee’s Best can, we’re headed down a fun, fun road.
After the jump, six ads I expect to see at this year’s World Series. (Note: Upon further reflection, one of these might be mildly NSFW–not that you should be reading blogs at work anyway).